Why Hasn’t He Proposed? The 5 Types of Men Who Put Off Proposing
Secretly cringe when you see yet another acquaintance post a ring selfie? Freeze up when a jewelry commercial comes on? Feel a phantom twinge on your left ring finger? Pre-engagement panic is real and it can strike anyone, but usually it comes on when you’ve been dating for a number of years, know you’ve found your person, and suddenly everyone around you seems to be getting engaged. Symptoms include being on high alert for signs he’s going to propose, receiving unwelcome advice about just how long you should wait for an engagement ring, and spending time and energy trying to figure out why he hasn’t proposed, and how to get him to propose.
We get it. Working in the custom engagement ring business at Abby Sparks Jewelry, we’re constantly meeting men who are ready to get married, and most of the time they’re super open about what got them to that point. We’ve got the scoop on what finally gets these guys into our studio and then down on one knee.
(All couples are unique and have a different vision for the proposal and the ring. The Amanda custom engagement ring was designed exclusively for Amanda at Abby Sparks Jewelry and features a 1.4 carat opal in 14kt yellow gold.)
The Goals Guy AKA Milestone Man
Can Be Found: Either at work, or very intentionally using his specifically scheduled leisure time.
You might have this special type of Type A man if his pastimes include checking his credit card statements, counting frequent flier miles, and analyzing his 401K. You can’t fault him for being organized and planning out his future to a T; in fact this is how he’s gained his success and it’s part of the reason why you love and respect him. The downside? Being ready to get engaged is another milestone on his list that requires copious amounts of research, strategic saving, and maybe even an expertly planned promotion at his work. Whatever algorithm he’s created that will equate to a proposal, you better believe it’s sophisticated, well-thought out, and…the exact opposite of the romance and spontaneity that many women think goes into a proposal. It may seem unromantic, but…planning for your joint future and making sure you’re taken care is pretty sexy. Purchasing an engagement ring is one of the most major purchases you will make. Kudos to this mature dude for being prepared.
“That’s great,” you say, “but I want to get married soon!” I hear you, girl! You need to understand that the reason why he hasn’t proposed is because he doesn’t feel informed or prepared enough. The best way to get him to propose is to work it like a presentation at your day job: have your facts together, agree on a budget and timing, and let him know you can design a custom engagement ring tailored to your exact specifications and be in control (with a timeline) every step of the way when you come into our studio. It’s up to you to determine what his ROI is…but we’re sure you have some ideas.
(The Lauren custom engagement ring was designed exclusively for Lauren and her love of pear shaped diamonds. We set a stunning, bezel set, brilliant cut diamond in rose gold.)
The Blazed Bro
Can Be Found: In Patagonia. The store or the region.
Maybe it’s because we’re in Colorado *cough cough* but there’s a very specific kind of guy that comes to our studio and decided to get engaged because…it just dawned on him. It literally hadn’t occurred to him as a thing one does when one is in a long term relationship…until now. And we get it, when you’re this kind of happy-go-lucky, head-in-the-clouds type of man, you live in the moment and are always seeking new experiences and adventures. These are all great qualities and make for one inspiring partner, but getting this Peter Pan to land takes a lot more than the wave of a wand.
Why he hasn’t proposed? He needs to be reminded. How to get him to propose? Straight up tell him, “I want to get married.” With his maxed out schedule of snowboarding/hiking/biking/fishing, he’s just happy that you’re part of the adventure and he may not be thinking about the future. Take the pressure out of planning by letting him know that creating a custom engagement ring at Abby Sparks Jewelry is an experience you can have together, and it’ll be a new adventure just for the two of you. What could be more adrenaline pumping?
(The Manasvinee 1.48 carat oval emerald custom engagement ring was designed specifically for a proposal in the Alaskan mountains.)
The Straight Shooting Son-of-Gun
Can Be Found: Buying a round of drinks for his corporate bros after securing a major deal.
This man’s man doesn’t mince words. He’s climbed the corporate ladder by being quick, forward-thinking, decisive, and confident. Being with this kind of Alpha Male can be a thrill. He only accepts the best of the best and that extends to his choice of partner. Why hasn’t he proposed? One area where he may surprisingly lack in his trademark assertiveness is choosing an engagement ring. He knows he wants to get engaged, he knows you’re the one for him, but he wants to guarantee that he’s getting the Rolls-Royce of rings. He wants it fast, he wants it at the best price, and he wants it now.
If this is your man, how do you get him to propose? Channel some of his boldness and tell him you know what you want, when you want it, and only the best will do. Let him know that you have to have a one-of-a-kind, custom engagement ring made just for you. You can let him go ahead and schedule a consultation, but we know who really calls the shots in this relationship, so own it.
(The Mary engagement ring features a 1.31 ct diamond center stone, pink and yellow diamond accents for a feminine feel. Find your perfect colored diamond.)
Can Be Found: Contemplating existence while on a solo backpacking trip/vision quest in the forest.
This dreamy dude is all about the deeper meaning in everyday things most of us take for granted. He’s compelled to take action based on feelings, and uses his heart and gut in tandem to make decisions. When he decides to get engaged, it’s major for him. He’s put his heart and soul into this decision, and planning the perfect proposal with the most magical engagement ring is crucial.
How will he ever propose? Help him out by letting him know what would be most meaningful to you, and what would best capture your unique relationship. A good place to start? Using Repurposed jewelry in your engagement ring. Does either of you have jewelry you’ve inherited? We can help you create engagement ring by incorporating family heirloom stones. Another meaningful option: ethical engagement rings. If he’s concerned about the environment, choosing a lab-grown diamond or alternative engagement ring style will help him feel good about the process, from start to finish.
Can Be Found: Next to you on the couch while you secretly read this article and give him the evil eye.
Most guys have no experience with proposing or choosing an engagement ring, and your dude is no exception. For real, most guys don’t even know what finger the ring goes on. Give him the benefit of the doubt. This is a guy who has most likely never worn or thought about jewelry, and now he’s expected to pick out and purchase the most expensive piece of jewelry he will ever buy. It’s intimidating. Help him out. Be real with him and let him know that you’re in this together. It’s a big decision that affects both of you, and as such, you both get a say! We recommend booking an appointment, coming in to our studio together and designing your engagement ring as a team. You’re equals, you communicate openly, respect each other’s opinions, and really, there’s nothing more romantic than that.
Ready to start the process? Call 303.957.650 or book an appointment online and we’ll work with you to design the perfect custom engagement ring.